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Funnily enough, we asked the Council the very same thing in January 2020! Their response was staggering...
Ah yes, this is the most popular question that we get asked nowadays...
Well they would, wouldn't they?...
So many questions, my dear... draw closer and let's have a little chat.
That's a worrying thought, isn't it?...
Of course. We recommend paracetamol. Also...
You what?!...
Well... I've just phoned Parmiter's (mentioning no names!) and this is what they said:
Luckily SchoolGuru's Grandad was a Latin teacher, so we know this one...
OMG you have no time to lose!...
So many parents worry about antagonising the schools...
This school is so popular it's usually in our Herts Hot List... You're going to have some competition, you know.
Right, here's what you should do...
Good god, NO! There's an obvious explanation for this strange turn of events...
You need a plan. Here's one we prepared earlier...
Ah, we know this one...
Oh man. We don't want to burst your bubble but...
We know this is hard, but don't hang about - you need to act now...
No parent wants their child to be labelled...
This really depends who you speak to...
One, two, buckle my shoe... you do have a point.
You've got great taste when it comes to secondary schools – Sandringham and Beaumont are two of the most sought after non-selectives in the county...
The easiest? Well...
Steady on, stop beating yourself up, we've seen this so many times...
Well done to your son for doing so well. We hate the fact that kids like yours could be made to feel like a failure. The system sucks. So what can you do? OK...
We love the way you think... want to work for us?
Maybe yes, maybe no.
So Parmiter's, the holy grail of Herfordshire schools...
Well now...
Lots of people from outside Herts contact us with queries like this...
Oh for God's sake...
This is as easy as uno, dos, trez... no, hang on, that's wrong...
Not necessarily...
Easy. Next! Oh, you want an answer? Ok then...
Ah interesting... and the family house is closer to the school you want?
We know how dreadful this feels, but dry your eyes. Here's how you can turn this around...
Ok, so there's good data... and there's bad data...
We've heard headteachers give misleading info on this one... you know who are...
Maybe yes, maybe no...
This info is crucial...
Not sure how to break this to you...
Herts CC take quite a firm line on this now...
That depends, doesn't it?...
Glad you asked that... here goes..
Now this is a controversial one...
Interesting... well that depends...
It's a tall order for any house to get you into one of the county's hottest schools. But this is how you can maximise your chances...
A 'pass mark'... now if only it were that easy...
This happens quite a lot...
Well yes, you can. If you're mad. But...
Yes. You want more than that? Then read on...
The computer says: maybe...
Hold the handcuffs, officer...
Ah bless, an August baby! Well...
Oh yes! Here's what you need to do...
Ah yes, we know your sort...
Now that depends...
Oh, we've all heard the tales about mothers phoning round the top schools before they've delivered the placenta. But this is how you should play it...
OMG if you only learn one thing from this website, then this should be it...
Ok, we've got some advice for movers and shakers like you...
Absolutely... and here's why...
Ask your trusty friend, the Admission Calculator...
It's really important that you understand your position here... so many people make incorrect assumptions...
We get lots of enquiries along these lines... and this is what we say...
So you're worried that your place could be snatched away...?
God yes, we know that feeling...
No. But it's based on the same principles...
Good one! No, there’s a long way to go...