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So many questions, my dear... draw closer and let's have a little chat.
Well... I've just phoned Parmiter's (mentioning no names!) and this is what they said:
Luckily SchoolGuru's Grandad was a Latin teacher, so we know this one...
OMG you have no time to lose!...
So many parents worry about antagonising the schools...
This school is so popular it's usually in our Herts Hot List... You're going to have some competition, you know.
The easiest? Well...
Well done to your son for doing so well. We hate the fact that kids like yours could be made to feel like a failure. The system sucks. So what can you do? OK...
So Parmiter's, the holy grail of Herfordshire schools...
Well now...
Oh for God's sake...
Interesting... well that depends...
It's a tall order for any house to get you into one of the county's hottest schools. But this is how you can maximise your chances...
A 'pass mark'... now if only it were that easy...
This happens quite a lot...
Well yes, you can. If you're mad. But...
Yes. You want more than that? Then read on...
The computer says: maybe...